Those Hilarious Anti-Catholic Haters

Those Hilarious Anti-Catholic Haters

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by Beverly Stevens, REGINA Editor

Running a popular Catholic e-Magazine and Facebook Page  (3 million people saw our posts last month) has given the admins at REGINA Magazine a closer familiarity than most with that curious species, the Anti-Catholic Bigot. 

While many may have assumed that they were an extinct species, we can assure you that they are alive and well. And, though their anti-Catholic ideas are remarkably predictable, they are not all the same. After three years of day-in-and-day-out-moderation, we have noticed definite sub-groups amongst the kind of people who hate what they think the Catholic Church is.

Interestingly, in addition to the larger categories of garden variety Catholic-haters, we’ve run across some fascinating sub-species. Herewith are our findings, beginning with the more unusual groups:

Men with Scottish Names Who Become Irate at the Suggestion that Anything Should Restrict Their Right to Euthanize Themselves: Some hail from North America. Some from the UK. A lot seem to live in Australia. For whatever reason, articles about the slippery slope that euthanizing governments find themselves on –which seem to elicit at least mild concern from almost everyone else — have the opposite effect on these guys. They immediately go ballistic, and attack REGINA, and the Catholic Church, with a string of unprintable epithets –which we delete, of course. (Then we ban them, because they are not reasonable – though they are mysterious, for sure.)

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Wizards: No, we're not making this up. Hardly the Harry-Potter glamour boys, these are usually completely ordinary-looking guys — bald, paunchy, graying — though with a penchant for dressing up in shiny robes and wearing weird medallions around their necks. Oh, and they LOVE the f-word, almost as much as they hate the Church.  We ban them, and then say the prayer to St Michael.

Protestants Who Dump Bible Quotes: Beautiful classical paintings of the Blessed Virgin Mary and discussions of Catholic traditions seem to inspire these people to cut-and-paste random Bible quotes onto REGINA’s comment lines. We ban them, too, on the principle that anyone who is too lazy to compose a few lines themselves is not worth arguing with.

Protestants Who Want To Know If We Are Saved: For some reason, these people seem to think that we aren’t very smart, and that we will permit them to proselytize on REGINA. We give them our standard polite-but-firm warning, and they deny that they are proselytizing. Which is pretty funny, so we ban them.

Muslims Who Denounce Us as Infidels: This group of men message us with veiled and not-so-veiled threats. We report them to Facebook, and ban them.

Anti-Semites: We ban these, with great pleasure. Especially if they claim they are ‘Catholic’.

Priest Haters: These are usually men, and they are very creative in describing the tortures and slow deaths they wish to impose on Catholic priest ‘predators.’ We have learned that presenting them with mere facts (the number of incidents in the Catholic Church is dwarfed by statistics in public schools, for example) does not seem to have the least effect and indeed seems to incite them to greater heights of invective. So, we ban them.

Planned Parenthood Paid Shills: In internet parlance, ‘astro-turfers’ – these people are legion. You can usually tell by their Facebook Page – quite sparse, with stock photos and pro-abort memes, a dead giveaway. Their arguments are canned, as well, so they are easy to spot. We used to warn them, but now we just ban them.

Young Know-It-Alls: These are university-educated American twenty-somethings who are simply stunned at REGINA. Accustomed to the toadying of their college teachers and the echo chamber of ‘ideas’ bandied about on Pages paid for by the PACs that pander to them, they cannot BELIEVE that a cogent defense of the Church and her culture could be mounted in this day and age. Some tag their friends, but most silently lurk, fascinated by the forbidden fruit of orthodox Catholicism.

Smug Western Intellectuals: By far the largest group, these can be men or women, though they seem to be agitated by different kinds of articles.

The men in this group are normally staunch atheists, and at first they are amused by what they imagine to be Catholics' ‘primitive’ ideas about God's existence, or the sheer effrontery of a Catholic Magazine in calling itself ‘intelligent'. Unfortunately, they don’t have much of a sense of humor when we poke mild fun at their notions. Unaccustomed to pushback of this kind, they react with fury and denounce us in the strongest possible –normally vulgar– terms. Then, we ban them.

The women are not necessarily atheistic – they tend to describe themselves as ‘spiritual’—BUT they are deeply disturbed by REGINA’s breezy lack of feminist orthodoxy in articles discussing the cancer-causing properties of the Pill or the possibility that young women should delay having sex until they are married. A few have reported us to Facebook, though on what ‘charges’ we can’t readily imagine. (Possibly for being ‘insensitively Catholic’?) In any case, we cheerfully ban them, too.

Sigh. But, the good news is that 99% of the people who comment, like, share and subscribe to REGINA Magazine are normal people with interesting ideas, from all over the world. Most are Catholic. Others are curious.

The further good news is that between 1000-1100 people ‘LIKE’ us every week these days. About 50% of them discover our  Magazine, and subscribe.

Possibly some of them could clue us in on what’s going on with the guys with the Scottish names? Just sayin’…

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