Photos by: Kaitlin Lochner
Jerry Jacobs Jr. is from Indianapolis. Recently, REGINA Magazine caught up with Jerry to ask him about his thoughts after a Catholic men’s conference he attended with his young sons last summer in Michigan, STRENGTH & HONOR, sponsored by ChurchMilitant.com.
For those easily offended, fair warning: Jerry doesn’t pull any punches.
REGINA: Now that you have had some time to digest what you heard, do you agree that the current crisis in the Church and in government in the West has come about because bad, weak people have grabbed power for the sake of power?
JERRY: Yes, the Catholic Church is charged with the moral compass of the world. Ever since the men in the Church (laity, priests, bishops) have become emasculated and effeminate, evil has stepped in to fill the void.
REGINA: The Strength & Honor Conference asked men about the ‘three major areas of temptation for men’: flesh, possessions and pride, often demonstrated in lack of commitment, objectification, laziness and anger.
JERRY: We men are aloof. And if we aren't challenged (especially spiritually) we will sit back and allow women to do it all. And knowing women as I do, this is exactly what they will do. Even though they aren't called to these tasks. But, they are nurturers and have and will always step up to the plate.
I fight this in my life through sacrifice and mortification for my Beloved wife and for Christ. This is the only way to go. Men don't understand that prayer is sacrifice. And religion, especially the Catholic Faith, is hard.
We must remove the focus from our own ego and selfishness and give our lives away for our Beloved and Christ. I do this mostly by prayer, daily mass, adoration, fasting, rosary, frequent Confession, and my apostolate CatholicAlpha.com to name only a few!
REGINA: Some say most discussions about the porn epidemic wrongly presuppose that men are incapable of controlling their lust. They argue that boys and men need to be protected from porn, for the good of society.
JERRY: We can't even breathe without God. And I think True Man, Authentic Men, Men Of Courage, learn to control their sexual urges, as well as their pleasure seeking urges.
Only then can they become as Christ. We all have crosses to carry: eating, alcohol, porn, homosexuality, anger, whatever we are charged with in this life that helps purify us. So that in the end we shed this cross and become holy, saints, and seek perfection as Christ asks us.
I believe prayer helps us defeat whatever cross we are carrying. People place way to little importance on their prayer life. This in the end is why they are miserable and suffer unnecessarily. They fight the many taps on the shoulder by the Holy Spirit!
REGINA: Some decry the loss of beauty in society and the increase of banality in — everything.
JERRY: I know that I visit many parishes that are quite ugly. No stained glass windows, no Crucifix, Jesus stuck in the back corner somewhere. Beauty in the faith just as the study of the faith, inspires fire for Christ, His Church and God. Being on fire is the Holy Spirit carrying you to greatness. And our Churches looking like protestant morgues, helps to kill our love, passion, and fire for the Word of God and His Church!
REGINA: How can more men stand up against abortion, and destroy the fallacy that it's a “women's health” issue, as opposed to a “human rights” issue?
JERRY: I always say, only men can stop abortion. Why? Name me one woman that will willingly kill her husband's baby if she feels that she is loved, cherished, fulfilled and happy!
Right? Not one.
Many don't agree with me. Men are the problem, plain and simple. We are the ones that were charged by God to care for this realm. We are the ones charged to control ourselves. To be Authentic Men as Christ was. When we sleep with a woman, use her up, steal her youth and vitality and then dump her like a prostitute, we are being complete cowards.
Women are in control as long as they withhold their gift from the man. As soon as she relents and gives him her gift, she now loses all control. Why, because of bonding. It's hard to fight and women have even killed their children because of men.
Look, God the Father created us. He knows what He is doing. Our problem? We are lost, broken, and confused. Again, only men can stop abortion.
REGINA: How would you advise a young man considering marriage today? How should Catholic men express their unique role in relationships and marriages?
First, learn your freakin’ faith. And stop listening to ignorance on the faith! This includes laity, priests, and bishops. Many of us are lost. And think we have it all together, but don't.
Second, leave your ego and selfishness at the door. This is the number one cause of divorce today. Also, understand what God expects of us as men.
We are the one ultimately responsible for the success or failure of our marriages and family. Why? Because of the natural order and the way God set it up.
Many men try and put all or most of the blame on their wives when things get tough. This is a rookie mistake and solves nothing.
What we must do is sacrifice our lives each and every day for our Beloved, and God. This is what we are called to do. Protect, Defend, and Serve.
Now how do you sacrifice? By prayer and mortification of self. You as a man must die to self. How, so that you can allow God to increase and so that you can place your Beloved wife before God pure and blemish free. As Ephesian 5 says.
Fasting for her, saying the rosary for her, attending mass for her, attending adoration for her. This is what True Men, Authentic Men, True Men Of Courage do. They die and win her heart a little each day! Yes?
This is how you change the family, this is how you change the Church, this is how you change the country, this is how you change the World: BUILD A LEGENDARY MARRIAGE! This is Catholic, this is True Man. This is Christ!
REGINA: Regarding men’s leadership roles within the Church – when and where and how to pick battles on stewardship, evangelization, liturgy, etc. Are these battles necessary?
JERRY: Change the men, change the world! All the stuff you just mentioned means nothing if men don't understand what Authentic Manliness is. They will do what they think it is and then proceed to screw it up!
Men must be challenged to great and be warriors and stop being wusses. This is what Christ needs! Warriors not Wusses. This is a battle out here. And it must be fought spiritually!
Men must understand that their marriage is the most important relationship on this earth besides God. Then everything else proceeds from there. Right now most all of us are selfish and ignorant of our roles as men.
Until you change that, The Church, the country and the family and the world really mean nothing to them and won't really change much.
Oh yes it will change, for Satan and for the worse!
(EDITOR’S NOTE: For those interested in attending, the third annual Conference will be held on August 5 in Sterling Heights, MI. More info HERE.)
Jerry’s blog ‘mentors men in their marriage’ at CatholicAlpha.com.